3 weeks ago I went into the doctor because I was cramping. We had an ultrasound done and we got to see a heart beat and everything looked perfect. Wednesday night I started spotting very little and then it stopped. They wanted to to another ultrasound. Lee and I went in yesterday at 3:45. We had a student doing the ultrasound, which I am totally ok with, but 45 min went by and she didn't say a single word. She grabbed a tech guy, and he was pretty cold as well. I asked in a joking matter " there is a baby still right?" his response was that he couldn't tell me anything.
That's nice, I thought to myself. As we were beginning to leave both the student and the tech came in. The student had been crying, I knew I was not going to get good news. The tech said, " I noticed that you had an ultrasound 3 weeks ago and the baby had a heart beat, however, at this time we can not find a heart beat or a fetus, this is all I can tell you at this time, it is too late for the results to be sent to your doctor you should hear back in 24 to 48 hours." and he walked away.
Now what.....I just leave. So what happened within the last 3 weeks, did my body just absorb the fetus? how does it just dissolve? I find myself with a lot of unanswered questions. I am sad, I am frustrated, and I am angry. What could I have done differently? I walked, I ate the right foods, I was drinking tons of water, I even cut out almost all my caffeine (for those of you who don't know, I love my caffeine.)
All I know is that everything happens for a reason. Even if I don't understand why or how. Thank you for all the love and support.
PS. The same day this happened Lee got a really good job up at the UofU!! I am so proud and happy for him.
